The Best Way to Talk to Someone with Alzheimer's

I just read an insightful article in the Washington Post. The article, by Susan Berger, asks the question: “What's the best way to talk to someone with Alzheimer's?” It stems from an encounter between Berger and an acquaintance of hers who had just been diagnosed with the disease.

The article explores what to do and say to help the person coping with Alzheimer's disease. We want to do the “right thing,” but deciding what the right thing is may be a challenge. Ms. Berger turns to families of Alzheimer's patients, as well as experts in the field, for answers.

For example, when a friend with Alzheimer's seems not to recognize you, a natural tendency is to withdraw from the situation. Keep in mind, however, that those with Alzheimer's often struggle with feelings of loneliness and isolation. Instead of withdrawing, remind your friend of your name, and how you know each other. Make sure that the reminder doesn't come across as a test. The article suggests that you consider a reminder such as: “Our children went to school together… it's wonderful to see you,” but not “Remember? Our kids went to school together.”

Other suggestions include:

• Take your cues from the patient: if he or she seems confused, help by giving an explanation


• In groups, fill in conversations with details to help the patient understand


• Reintroduce yourself when you enter the room


• Ask the patient for help with a manageable task


• Don't quiz: instead of asking what the patient had for breakfast, say “those eggs you had for breakfast looked good.”


• Don't act upset by the patient's limitations, or act as if he or she isn't in the room


• Don't try to force a memory

This last point was illustrated by a common problem with Alzheimer's patients: forgetting the death of a loved one. Although a natural tendency is to be honest, reminding the patient of the bad news forces him/her to relive the grief; it might be better to say “He's not here today but we'll see him soon,” and redirect the conversation.

Berger reports that, according to experts, “the person with Alzheimer's has a different reality,” and the best way to help is to “get in their world” and adjust our conversations accordingly.

A copy of What's the best way to talk to someone with Alzheimer's can be found here –  What's the best way to talk to someone with Alzheimer's?

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Supreme Court Declines to Review Decision Defining When a Parent has “Abandoned” a Child for Purposes of Intestate Succession

I previously blogged a December 11, 2015 Appellate Division case, In re Estate of Fisher, in which the New Jersey Superior Court, Appellate Division considered whether a father's actions should bar him from receiving a share of his deceased son's intestate estate, under N.J.S.A. 3B:5-14.1. You can review that blogpost here. In Fisher, the Appellate Division reversed the Chancery Division decision and held that the father had not abandoned his son so as to be barred from a share of his son's estate.

Since that time, the mother filed a Petition for Certification, asking the Supreme Court to review the Appellate Division's decision. On April 1, 2016, the Supreme Court declined to review that decision, leaving the Appellate Division decision as the last word on the issue.

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New Jersey State Bar Warns of Lawyers' Continued Misuse of Ads Mentioning “Super Lawyers,” “Best Lawyers” and the Like

Attorney advertising that mentions awards, honors, and accolades such as “Super Lawyers,” “Best Lawyers,” “Superior Attorney,” numerical ratings, and the like has apparently prompted the filing of many complaints with the New Jersey Supreme Court Committee on Attorney Advertising. As a result, the Committee recently issued a notice to the State Bar Association reminding New Jersey attorneys of the ethics rules governing advertisements mentioning the receipt of awards, honors, or accolades.

As a preliminary matter, an attorney who seeks to advertise the receipt of an award, honor, or accolade must ascertain whether the organization conferring the award has made “inquiry into the attorney's fitness.” Rule of Professional Conduct (RPC) 7.1. “The rating or certifying methodology must have included inquiry into the lawyer's qualifications and considered those qualifications in selecting the lawyer for inclusion.”

When an award, honor, or accolade meets the preliminary test, the lawyer must include the following additional information in any advertisement: first, the lawyer must provide “a description of the standard or methodology on which the award, honor, or accolade is based … .” Official Comment to RPC 7 .1. Second, the lawyer must include the name of the comparing organization that issued the award. RPC 7.1 (a)(3)(i). Third, the lawyer must include this disclaimer: 'No aspect of this advertisement has been approved by the Supreme Court of New Jersey.”' RPC 7.l(a)(3)(iii). Fourth, when the name of an award, honor, or accolade contains a superlative, such as “super,” “best,” “superior,” “leading,” “top-rated,” or the like, the advertising must state only that the lawyer was included in the list with that name, and not suggest that the lawyer has that attribute.

All of this additional, accompanying language must be presented on the face of the advertising, readily discernible and in proximity to the reference to the award. The accompanying information cannot be buried at the bottom of a page, or in tiny print, or placed outside the screen shot on a website.

The Notice is attached here – Notice to the Bar regarding Attorney Advertising in NJ

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